Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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