Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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