Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
