oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
