i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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