Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
