Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this will be a night to untag.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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