So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
