Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
