that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
