I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
