i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
