worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
