i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
