evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
