Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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