Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
