You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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