Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
