Say something about gay babies.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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