I'm drive I can fine osifer
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
