i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
