in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
