Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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