so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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