It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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