He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
