This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
