and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
