just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
