Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
