i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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