suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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