it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
