I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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