Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
