I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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