it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
