I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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