plz talk dirty to me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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