If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
