I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He better not be in your backpack
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
