You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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