Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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