How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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