this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
