I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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