no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
