In the future we'll all be gay
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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