So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
