Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
